I'm finding, as a pregnant woman, there are a few questions you get asked ALL. THE. TIME. Which, truthfully, didn't get tiresome to me until this weekend. We're in Pennsylvania Dutch Country for a "Baby Moon," and have been having way more interactions with strangers, friendly strangers, than usual. In any case, the top two questions, regardless of where I am, without a doubt, are:
1. When are you due?
2. What are you having?
Since I typically see the same people on a regular basis, they all know the answers to these questions. It also seems to me, that, before this weekend, I was asked them so sporadically that I never minded answering. But here, in Lancaster County, everyone wants to know. Waiting in line at a chocolate cafe - the server wants to know. Just got out of a the car in front of a furniture shop - the shopkeeper wants to know. We're at a bed and breakfast, and have eaten with new people everyone morning, all of whom WANT. TO. KNOW. I guess it's not that I mind them asking; I'm just kind of bored with giving the answers. Making a joke about a Christmas baby, hope not right on Christmas, oh, you're mom/sister/son/best friend's birthday is in December, too? Ha ha; no, we want to be surprised, it seems like everyone is finding out these days, yes, yes, Christmas Surprise! Someone made the tax break joke this morning (hope that's born before January 1st!), which was a refreshing change of pace.
(Oh, so in case I don't know you that well, or haven't talked to you in awhile - December 23, and we're not finding out. :-))
One question that I'm still not sure how to answer is the third most common one, "How are you feeling?" I don't know for sure, but my sense is that this is slightly different from "How are you?" Usually, when someone asks how you are, they don't really want to know - or, in any case, they don't want to know too much. They want to hear that you're "fine," or, at the very worst, maybe something like, "a little under the weather, but pretty good, thank you!" I kind of feel, though, when people ask a pregnant lady how she is feeling, they sort of expect you to be a little more honest. Like, not graphically honest, but they expect you to have a small ailment, like being "a little nauseous," or "some back pain," or, "somewhat tired," but, of course, overall, "pretty good." I almost feel like I should have a minor complaint - which I always do, don't worry! But I do wonder if I'm misreading this. What do you think?
I don't this you are reading too much into it - I had similar experiences. I hope you haven't gotten any rude comments (people who think they are funny - NOT), or overly-nosy folks. Or belly-rubbers - at least some would ASK first!
ReplyDeleteAbout 2 months ago, I saw some folks who I hadn't seen in awhile, and two of them basically said, "You're bigger than I thought you'd be!" Ummm....thanks? I responded by saying, "Well, I was a little bigger to begin with." Which was true (bigger for me, anyway), and if it made them feel a little awkward...well, there you go.
DeleteOh! And I've only had one belly rubber who didn't ask - someone who I don't even know very well. If it's a friend or family member who asks, I don't even care that much. Fortunately, most of my friends aren't the touchy-feely type, and most of my co-workers know I'm not a "hugger," so I probably don't want my belly rubbed. I think the urge to rub pregnant bellies is bizarre. Someone told me she never had the urge to touch bellies until after she was pregnant. Not sure if this has happened to other folks.
DeleteSigh... it's all very cute at first. Loved the questions for a few months. But then it starts to feel like working in customer service/tourism. Same Q and A, all the time. (The bathroom is over there. No, we don't serve fries, sorry. Would you like a drink with that? Our house dressing is a homemade Greek dressing with feta cheese; we also have ranch, french, italian, bleu cheese, thousand island, and fat-free raspberry vinaigrette. !!!) I always wanted to say to that question (not that I really did feel that way, just to be contrary!), "I feel completely like crap! How did you think I was feeling?" I'm thinking your guess of what answer they want is correct, though. Just wait! When you get close to your due date, all you will hear is, "Didn't you have that baby yet? Better get moving/go ride on a bumpy road/etc.!" Didn't I have the baby yet, wait, let me check. Oh, what do you think this enormous lump in my belly is? And they all act like it's your fault the baby isn't out yet and that you clearly are just looking forward to going into labor!
ReplyDeleteI think you're right! I never minded at first, either - I didn't even mind at all until this past weekend when every new person I ran into asked the same questions! After writing this post, though, I giggle every time someone asks me how I'm feeling, especially if I'm with someone who knows I wrote it.
DeleteI know it will get worse. One of my former coworkers got really annoyed because people kept saying to her, "You're still here?!?!" "Am I? Let me check..." (pinch pinch) or, "No, I actually sent in a hologram of myself."